Breakdown (Crash into Me) Page 18

  Tabby rambled on, telling me about the last wedding she had crashed and about strippers who started out as sluts and ended up yuppie housewives—one extreme to the other.

  I let her do the talking for both of us, the glass of champagne I had snagged and the rush working together to create a warm, gushy feeling inside of me.

  “Okay,” I whispered after a solid hour had passed. “Let’s go.”

  It was already dark, and though I had to practically pull Tabby away from a bulky groomsmen, we walked around, stumbling and laughing loudly like we had practiced on the way over. Sure enough, no one gave us a second glance, and the eye roll from a hotel employee suggested that our acting was sufficient enough.

  We were barely out the front door before we saw the first security guard. For a second I was relieved by the sight of his gray hair, but when I saw he looked even fitter than the groomsman Tabby had been flirting with I felt a whole new surge of fear. A new list of things that could go wrong ran through my head while Tabby messed up her perfectly sculpted hair with her hands and pushed her breasts up. I laughed and tried to imitate something similar. Already, it seemed the sound of my laugh was enough to draw attention to us.

  “Excuse me?” I smiled as sweetly as I could, but without permission, his eyes looked us both up and down, making me nauseous and accelerated all at once. “My friend here has had too much to drink—”

  His eyes darted slightly between our midsections before he lifted the brim of his cap and grinned. “I can see that.”

  Sure enough, Tabby was stumbling on her heels, singing to a shrub behind me. I rolled my eyes as if annoyed. Secretly, I was impressed by her acting skills.

  “I’m trying to drive her home, but she’s lost her keys.”

  Intrigued by our short conversation, another security guard wandered over, this one about as pudgy as he was tall, and didn’t make me feel the least bit intimidated

  “Already? It’s a little early, isn’t it?”

  “It is,” I said sweetly. “I should have made her eat something before drinking.”

  He eyed us curiously. “Are you ladies even old enough to drink?”

  By then, a third security guard was waddling his way over, and I batted my eyelashes as best as I could, considering all the eye makeup. It was only when I saw how entirely serious the third guard was that I felt stupid for overestimating him. He frowned at both of us, but otherwise never gave us a second glance.

  “You girls know this is a private party? Where are your invitations?”

  Tabby stumbled over, perhaps hearing the tone of authority in the guard’s voice and giggled.

  “Sir! Yes, sir!” She mocked him with a clumsy solute, and I pretended to be embarrassed for us both.

  “I’m sorry about her. I’d show you some ID and our invitations, but we both left our bags in the car…”

  The older security guard looked at his colleague before turning back to us and sighing. At this point however, Tabby was digging into the chemise of her dress as if on a treasure hunt, and his eyes popped. “Would you like us to help you look for your keys, Miss?”

  “That would be fantastic!” I beamed my gratitude and bounced up and down for a split second like Tabby had taught me, igniting smiles from even the uptight guard. Afterward, I put a pout on my face and vaguely pointed to the other side of the hotel. “The thing is, I think she might have dropped them out there somewhere…”

  The three of them nodded their heads and followed us around the corner. Tabby lead in front while I followed from behind, keeping my eyes open for the car carrier that I knew was waiting.

  Within five minutes we had four security guards and two valets trying to “help” us. I had even learned from Ernie, the pudgy security guard with an uptight disposition, that another security guard was doing nothing but standing by the presents all night, another one by the bar. I took it by the sound of his voice that those were both positions he would have preferred instead of being outside, so I coaxed him into conversation, counting down the seconds in my head and trying to guess whether or not the guys had gotten what they came for.

  Just after the agreed upon six minute mark had passed, I suggested maybe my friend and I should just get a cab.

  Tabby and I ran back inside the hotel, giggling as though it was our solitary mission in life. We ran into waiters and squawking members of the bridal party, a disgruntled DJ, and two other guests making-out. Tabby was laughing out of genuine entertainment, but my laugh was a nervous one, one plied by excitement and the fading fear of getting caught. The peach colored hallway of the hotel swirled while my heart raced and my blood pounded. Once again, the tightness in my chest reminded me of a panic attack, yet instead of the anxiety, or even pain, there was a sweet sensation swimming around in my head—not unlike when I first met William, not unlike kissing him.

  “That was amazing!”

  Tabby said something back to me, but I didn’t really hear it as we ran out a front lobby door and looked for our ride.

  “Over there!”

  The minute she said it, I saw the flashing headlights of Eggs’ truck and heard its horn honking. Naturally, we began running in that general direction. More novice than expert in high heels though, I stumbled as if I were the make-believe drunk. I cursed and pulled myself from Tabby’s strong grasp. Apparently, poll work did give her some sturdy arms.

  “Go on,” I said, still in full giggle mode. “I’m right behind you!”

  I only had my first heel off when the familiar gleam of Bloody Mary pulled up between us. There was the slight feeling of déjà vu before that panic I had been so proud of myself for controlling began filling me up, condensing the joy I was feeling. William having his car here was not part of the plan. What had we done wrong? Had we been found out? Where the police after us?

  “William, what—”

  Staring straight ahead, William cut me off before I could get a word in edgewise. “Get in, Jumper.”

  “What? I thought—”

  “Get in the Goddamn car right now!”

  I glanced up to look for Tabby, but she was already struggling to pull herself up and into Eggs’ truck. My inner self shrugged and took off my other shoe before moving to open the passenger door. Barely in the car, William put his foot to the pedal and we sped off, angry tires squealing behind us.

  “Seatbelt,” he barked at me. Though the tone was harsh, I smiled to myself, the reminder that my safety mattered to him making me strangely happy. William however, was fiercely upset. I looked behind us as we sped out of the hotel parking lot and down the street. From what I could see, there wasn’t a cop to be seen.

  “I can’t believe you actually did that!” William hit the steering wheel with each word, his jaw tight even as he swore. “Son of a bitch!”

  “Do, ah, do we have someone chasing us? Because if not, maybe you could slow down?”

  The dark world flew by me as we drove on, and though it might have inspired adrenaline in me earlier, I was still coasting on the rush of playing pretend with Tabby.

  “I shouldn’t have let you do that,” he mumbled to himself. “How stupid could I possibly be? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

  At that, I scoffed. Who was he to let me do anything? “Let me? You didn’t let me do anything. I wanted to do that. I do have free will—”

  He kept on like he hadn’t even heard me. “What if they put together that you weren’t invited? What if they figured out you were meant as a distraction?”

  “If Tabby and I ever do get caught, we’ll just say we were wedding crashers. We talked about this. No one can prove otherwise. People crash weddings all the time. It’s, like, trendy or something.”

  “I must have been out of my mind to agree to this.” Though William laughed to himself, it wasn’t genuine. I tried to take comfort in the fact that he wasn’t hitting the dash anymore, but couldn’t manage it. “Could I be anymore selfish?”

  “All things considered, I think it went pretty well—really well
, in fact.” I glanced over at the speedometer. Though it didn’t feel like it, we were hovering just over eighty miles an hour. “Listen, not that I mind you going so fast, but I know you love your car, and—”

  Hearing me for the first time it seemed, William slowed down significantly. And though I tempted to watch the world outside slow down, the expression on his face was far more entertaining.

  “Eighty-three! Jumper, why didn’t you say anything?”

  I shifted and tried to pull the dress down. Of course that left little material remaining for my top half. I crossed my arms over myself and gave up. “What’s up with you, Do-gooder?”

  “What’s up with me? What’s up with me?”

  With the tires screeching, he pulled into a grocery store parking lot and came to a sudden stop. Although we were stopped, his hands clutched the steering wheel and he hung his head sadly. What did he have to feel so ashamed about if everything had gone well?

  “William.” I reached up and rested my hand on his shoulder. Instantly, the tense muscles there relaxed, but I didn’t dare to touch him further. “What is it?”

  “Don’t you know you could have gotten hurt? Do you even care?”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “But you could have!” Hearing him yell at me made me pull away, yet even as he did, his expression softened. “I’m sorry, Jumper. I shouldn’t have yelled.” He sighed before continuing. “I must really be out of my mind.”

  I nodded and tried to consider his words. Easily, I figured out that his deceleration bothered me just as much as I appreciated it.

  “I can take care of myself, you know?”

  “Oh sure,” he scoffed. “You were probably trying to get yourself clobbered over the head with a baton.”

  “I was not!” I said defensively. “I—” What had I been doing out there tonight? While I was unlikely to get physically hurt as William suggested, I could have easily been arrested, thrown in the hotel security office while my parents and the police were called. I shuddered at the prospect of my dad seeing me in the outfit I was wearing, of hearing Mom lecture me the entire ride back to our empty house, or spending a few days in jail until they bailed me out.

  “I was just looking for another Rush. With how weird you’ve been acting, I didn’t know if I’d ever see another race again, so I’ll take what I can get. My counselor said it was okay to look for a Rush as long as I don’t endanger anyone—and myself. I didn’t tell her about the illegal stuff.” I added this last part for posterity, but he looked up at me from steering wheel with a small smile just threatening to shine through.

  “Y-you’re talking to someone?”

  “Of course,” I said in a tone to make him feel as stupid as possible. Judging by the way he shrunk back at my words, it worked. “I told you I would, didn’t I?”

  “No, Jumper.” He smiled freely now, and I had to turn away to keep from smiling back. “You told me you’d think about it.”

  A giggle escaped me at his horrible imitation of me, and when it did, his shoulders relaxed back into the leather of the seats.

  “Details, details.” I waved him away like it didn’t matter.

  “Details keep you from getting in trouble, Jumper, they keep you alive.”

  “But I am alive, William—details or not.”

  He bit his lower lip and unbuckled his seatbelt before his eyes looked over me. Like every other male I had encountered that evening, my instincts let me know he was interested in what he saw. Unlike everyone else, however, I knew William was interested in my personality as well. “I—we never got to finish our conversation earlier.”

  William slipped off his jacket and handed it to me. I wasn’t cold, but I put it on anyway and breathed in the collar.

  “I need to know if you’ll forgive me, Jumper. If you can’t, or you didn’t feel safe around me, I’d never be able to live with myself.”

  I batted the ends of the sleeves together to avoid looking at him. “Why are you asking for my forgiveness? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Yeah, I did, Jumper. I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. But I swear I’d never—”

  My laugh cut him off. “Advantage? A kiss isn’t exactly what I consider taking advantage. And I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant.”

  “It was taking advantage.” Then his tone changed, fading to little more than a whisper. “Especially since I wanted to do a lot more than kiss you.”

  I ran warm all over; with the added jacket I was downright hot. “Y-you did?”

  “Yeah.” William flashed me a small smile before looking away, still ashamed. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

  It was ironic the way I searched for eye contact then. After a relationship of avoiding just that, I longed for it like I had lusted after my last smile. As my head tilted and my eyes searched for his, it surprised me that I couldn’t find them. “It wasn’t.” I admitted with a shrug. “I figured you just caught up in the moment.”

  Finally, after a lifetime of waiting, he looked up at me.

  “You’re way off, Jumper. I wanted to kiss you from the moment I saw you. I wanted to grab you and kiss all the sad right out of you.”

  I blinked hard and tried to picture the scene in my head. If he had, I was sure I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven. “Why didn’t you then?”

  He answered without hesitation. “Because I’m not a complete degenerate.”

  “Well,” I said, still feeling brave. “Why don’t you now?”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  With a flirty smile in his eyes, William leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair. Like before, his expression was harsh with something playful just beneath. “Have you looked in a mirror, Jumper?”

  “Not since Tabby and I left.” I felt the power of narcissism as I pulled down the vanity mirror. How was he supposed to take me seriously with lipstick on my teeth or smeared mascara? Yet, judging by the glance I caught of myself, everything still seemed to be in place. “Why? Do I look even more ridiculous than I feel?”

  “I’ve told you before you’re not ridiculous. I just, ah, given how I behaved the other day, I don’t trust myself to just kiss you.”

  I laughed at his emphasis. It was rare that I was the strong one in a situation. “What if I kissed you?”

  “You shouldn’t,” he cautioned. “I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I almost lost control the last time.”

  “How about you stop being such a do-gooder and shut up?”

  Just as he opened his mouth to protest, I leaned over the gearshift and reached for his neck, linking my fingers just under his mop of messy hair. And when our lips touched, it was instant electricity, surges of energy flowing through the center of us and out again. Just like static electricity, we stuck to each other, clinging onto each sliver of flesh we could get our hands on.

  “Definitely not a good idea,” he whispered.

  I was still giggling when he started again. And without taking his lips from mine, William unbuckled my seatbelt, giving us both better access to each other. Once I was freed from my restraint he pulled me into his arms, kissing me with even more urgency than before and running his hand over the exposed flesh of my back and rubbing his thumb over my knee. Newly free and unencumbered, I breathed as much of him in as I could, that spicy smell of his aftershave and deodorant making him smell as great as he felt.

  Every time we parted for breath he’d shake his head at himself and reach for the ignition. “I’m sorry, we should… go.”

  “Well, I’m not,” I said, pulling him closer. “So if you apologize one more time I’ll key your car.”

  Though flushed, William’s face broke out into a smile. “I think you might really mean that, Jumper.”

  “Good” I laughed. “Because I do”

  His laugh just before he kissed my forehead was soft and sweet. “I should take you back to your house. I�
��m sure you wanna change—”

  But the thought of returning to my parent’s house was completely unappealing, pulling the strings of that depression I thought I had left behind. I shook my head to make it clear I was against the idea.

  “Okay” he laughed. “The guys and I were gonna meet for a celebration beer—”

  “No,” I told him fiercely. “I want to be with you—just you.” The change in his expression faltered just a little, a look of disbelief crossing over his face as I gripped his shoulders. “I-Is that okay?”

  “Are you kidding?” he said, kissing my forehead again. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”

  I slid back into my seat and rebuckled my seatbelt. Then, as soon as he started the car back up, I rolled down my window, feeling a haunting giddiness at the realization that we had literally steamed up the windows. Grinning wildly, he did the same before shifting into gear. When he wasn’t shifting, his hand rested on my seat—no more than an inch away from thigh. Silently, I gave him the permission I thought he wanted to touch me. The fact that he didn’t was infuriating and gratifying at the same time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Once we were in his apartment I was once again the aggressor, all but forcing him to kiss me the second the door was closed behind us. All smiles, William responded accordingly, guiding my mouth with his and kissing me back with just the right amount of intensity.

  I closed my arms around him—as much as I could anyway—wishing I could climb inside of him and absorb all he had to offer. My consolation prize instead was the taste of his sweet breath. I knew there was nothing rational about it, but I accepted it anyway, thinking of the syrup deity we had once joked about. Unlike the Lord of Maple, however, William’s kisses had a honey flavor to them. Inspired, I tried to tangle my hand in his hair, slightly surprised that he scooped me up in his arms completely to make it that much easier for me. Only there for a moment, he carried me to the bedroom as if we were newlyweds.